


you're all I taste (you're in my veins)

by mostlikelydefinentlymad



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Anatomy of the Hand scene, Bloodplay, Episode: s02e05 Dust and Shadows, Episode: s02e06 Iron Sisters, Forgiving Raphael, I JUST REALLY LOVE THE HAND SCENE, M/M, Mutual Pining, POV Raphael, can we get some kissing up in here, don't look at me, lets take it back to simon's bedroom y'all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-04
Updated: 2017-05-04
Packaged: 2018-10-27 22:43:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10818279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mostlikelydefinentlymad/pseuds/mostlikelydefinentlymad
Summary: At his lowest point, Raphael surrenders. His fangs drop down and he laves his tongue over the delicious blood smeared against his palm and bites back a moan.Simon, Simon, Simon -He's lost in the ecstasy - the exhilarating combination of Simon's scent and taste. The close presence of him.The tempting rush of blood in his veins that Raphael can hear and smell. He imagines storming into the room and kissing him just to show him what it feels like to truly ache for someone but that would be foolish.Simon would run.





	you're all I taste (you're in my veins)

 

 

Raphael is a screaming clawing jumble of chaos on the inside. 

 

The urge to bite and taste Simon until he realizes what he threw away is overwhelming. He wants to shake him until he makes the burning stop. He'd unexpectedly blazed into Raphael's life and left him with burns on his hands and again when Aldertree marred his skin with cross shaped scars. 

 

Loving Simon Lewis  _hurts._

 

He slices into Simon's palm and roughly takes him by the wrist. There's absolutely no justification for holding his hand as the blood covers both of them. There's no logical excuse for then loosely curling his hand around the bare skin where Simon's jacket rides up but he does. He could've pointed him in the direction of the box and ordered him to bleed over it but  _want_ got the best of him.

 

Even Magnus is taken aback. He hides it with martini's and a cheerful comment about Camille's jewelry but Raphael doesn't buy it. His friend has been around long enough to know every trick in the book when it comes to stealing touches. 

 

What he doesn't know is that, for weeks, Raphael has been circling Simon and running away before he could do something reckless only to end up here. It's a cruel irony. The last time the sweetness of Simon's blood coated his skin and tongue was mere hours before he chose  _them_  andhe's been starving since. 

 

Crimson drops begin to flow freely as Raphael watches. It's a slow torture that he doesn't deserve. For some, blood is nothing more than a means to an end. For him, it's sacred. It's sensual. Simon knows this. 

 

The fledgling glances at his hand and back up to Raphael. For the first time since this disaster began, Raphael can't look him in the eye. All it will take is one glimpse of the softness he knows he'll see in those brown eyes and he'll lose what little control he has left.  He'll bring Simon's hand to his lips and drink greedily until he takes his fill. Simon will know then - how disgustingly weak he is. 

 

He'll have leverage against him. 

 

His skin tingles and fangs threaten to protrude for the second time that night. He needs more than this. _Dios,_ he needs to touch him everywhere.

 

To walk away without putting his hands on Simon in some manner is unspeakable. It's killing him that Simon (who'd always been overly affectionate) won't even reach out and touch him - only to shove and _hurt._ Still, Raphael can't bring himself to let anyone else get close. Even the clan know not to touch him - not since  _Simon._  Raphael began to re-construct his walls after the fledgling left and he keeps his distance now - nothing will ever be the same. 

 

And then it's over. The box pops open and Simon springs away as though he felt the flames too - the burning. 

 

Raphael disappears to the bathroom shortly after while Magnus leads Simon to the kitchen to rinse away the evidence. Like it's a crime scene and he's the victim here. Raphael stares down at his empty hands, blood stained and aching. He counts himself as both victim and survivor tonight. 

 

He breaks away to peer at his own pale reflection and hardly recognizes the man staring back. This is the wreckage Simon created of him, brick by brick. He should hate him for it.  The sweet scent of blood fills the air as a reminder and he closes his eyes, savoring it. It smells of caramel and  _Simon._ Of a fragmented past and sinking into Simon's neck mere weeks ago, his hand cupping the back of Raphael's head. 

 

Promises. Too many promises that night. 

 

At his lowest point, Raphael surrenders. His fangs drop down and he laves his tongue over the delicious blood smeared against his palm and bites back a moan.

 

_Simon, Simon, Simon - God._

 

He's lost in the ecstasy - the exhilarating combination of Simon's scent and taste. The close presence of him. The tempting rush of blood in his veins that Raphael can hear and smell. He imagines storming into the room and kissing him just to show him what it feels like to truly ache for someone but that would be foolish. Simon would run. 

 

He's moving around in the other room and suddenly it's no longer comforting. He's talking about leaving. No, it's too soon. _No,_ he has to stay, he  _has_ to. Raphael licks every drop from his fingers and quickly runs them under the water. 

 

When he walks out, Simon's eyes are on him. He cranes his neck in order to see the wounds that are no longer visible (emotional, physical - he _knows)_ but Raphael gives him nothing. He straightens his back and adjust his lapels. He's not ready to face him yet, not composed enough. 

 

Magnus sends them away with a slip of paper and Simon practically bolts from the room. It's ironic - how they run from one another and something keeps calling them back. It's impossible to separate himself from the hurricane that makes up one body and in it - _everything_. 

* * *

 

 

It's not until days later that he realizes Simon is starving too.

One minute he's reassuring Elaine that her son is well and the next he's being caged by Simon's body on his bed. 

"I can't do this anymore," Simon pants. "I'm sorry, okay? Please, can you stop hating me already? I want...I want- _dammit._ "

Raphael grips his wrist - he doesn't look away this time. Everything is written on his face and it's here, it's now. 

It's his hand against Simon's lower back, pushing him down until their bodies are aligned, and the other fumbling to hold Simon's. 

"I could never hate you," he whispers. 

He gives and gives until it breaks him - it's the only way he knows how to love.

Even when Simon betrayed him and he growled out a kill order, it was a defensive vulnerable move to protect himself. He never hated -

He loved far too deeply to go down without a fight. He kept coming back for more.

Simon makes a broken sobbing noise and presses his lips to Raphael's. God help him, Raphael moans.

He slides a hand under Simon's t-shirt and grazes the cool skin with his fingertips.

"I forgive you, come home."

Simon kisses him desperately, with everything he has. 

In one body,  _everything._

* * *

 

 

His fangs pierce Simon's neck, his chest, his wrist.

Promises are made, in blood, in the healing.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> boom, baby. fixed the almost kiss in simon's bedroom.
> 
> also while you're here lemme talk to you about blood. it's such an obvious metaphor in this show. they don't even try to pretend otherwise. it's very obvious that simon and raphael have been this route before with his blood on raphael's skin because that scene? was total overkill. raphael is full of shit and simon knows it just like he saw right through his "stick around" moment in s1. 
> 
>  
> 
> one last tidbit: magnus' eyes bug out when raphael is hissing at simon - like he hasn't saw him that worked up in decades and I am  
> l i v i n g


End file.
